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5 Things No One Needs On Your Facebook

Posted in Social Media By Tom Chu

Everybody has a Facebook page. You have a Facebook page. Your mom has a Facebook page. Your priest has a Facebook page. … Everyone. Those few who do not are often regarded as some kind of purists; the rare elite who have refused to give in to this century’s most prevalent addiction.

But even those are a dying breed, and at some point they will give in while swearing they won’t get hooked. One week later they are awake at 4 a.m. for the third day in a row, playing Farmville and liking obscure fan pages of cartoons they remember from when they were 6 years old.

Facebook

But I don’t care how much you love Facebook, there are just some things you shouldn’t do. It is precisely these things that had led to websites such as Lamebook and Failbook, which show off the latest of a number of social nightmares that occur on the social networking site.

Short of requiring people to take an IQ test or agree to electric shock when signing up, there is little we can do about some of the content people share. But for those who are paying attention, here are five status boundaries not to cross for the sanity of your friend’s list.

1. What You Are Eating/Watching/Listening To

“OMG listening to Monkey Butt ‘Crappy Pop Song’, watching ‘So You Think You Can Dance: Atlantis’ and eating deep fried spaghetti with powdered sugar! KAWAII!” See what I just did there? I emulated every one of the annoying status updates you posted in shrieking glory about your music, TV and dietary enjoyments. Now, if you do something somewhat out of the ordinary and have something to say about it, great. Buy a CD on iTunes and want to let people know how it is? Do it. Have a movie you are heading out to see and plan on asking is someone wants to come? Great. Enjoying a meal from a new restaurant and have a critique? By all means, share it. But don’t update with every inane detail of your life. After all, you wouldn’t call someone up every time you were sitting down for a meal, right? Exactly.

2. Your Exact Location

Last year there was a feature implemented on Facebook that would list where you were at any given moment while posting status updates. Through the official feature it is rather discreet, just listed under the status itself. But there were also apps through mobile phone providers and networks such as Foursquare that would post it as a status update itself. It would do this every few minutes, so my feed was constant filled with, “Joe Schmoe is currently at the San Jose Maximum Security Prison with Lou Screw.” Believe it or not, I don’t need to know where you are all of the time. I don’t even need to know where you are some of the time. If I ever become your over-protective body guard sworn to watch over you at all times, I promise to change my tune. Until then, turn the feature off.

3. Copy/Paste Statuses

I am not even going to bother coming up with a sarcastic copy/paste status example, because we have all seen them. If you are reading this, there is about a 40 percent chance you post them yourself from time to time. Here is a bit of a tip: It drives most of us crazy. Usually uninformed, incorrect and extremely self righteous, they are a sure way to get you banned from my personal friends list, and I know I am not the only one. Worse of all, you can’t even say, “Well, the data behind it is flawed, but at least it is original.”

4. Your Fight Or Drama With Someone Else

Facebook

Call outs are never pretty. But there is something especially horrible about doing it on the web where anyone can see. Quick to escalate, reading two people fighting in a Facebook thread is enough to make you want to bash your face repeatedly into your keyboard. This also applies to vaguely written statuses that allude to a problem with an unknown person. What is so amazing about this type of status is the fact that so often the user posting them get offended when someone asks what it wrong, claiming not to want to talk about it. Then why post it?!

5.Your Bathroom Habits

I really wish this did not have to be said, but apparently it does. Your bathroom habits are not necessary to share with people on Facebook. While you might be laughing to yourself and thinking that no one would be so ridiculous as to do this, I read status updates such as “Just gotta pee” so many times than I have lost count. That’s right, I have literally seen bathroom-related statuses on mine and other people’s feeds so frequently that I can actually not remember the number. Please, for the love of all that is holy, keep your toilet time to yourself.

Conclusion

I will admit that these are my own pet peeves and might not annoy everyone. So why not join in with the whining and post your own list of things you don’t want to know about on Facebook? Leave them in the comments!

Image Credits: 1, 2.

7 comments
Facebook Status
Facebook Status

Haha, great post.

I am also doing some copy & paste to facebook status updates myself.

Well, to be honest I have my own website which contains a lot of status updates that I did copy & paste.

You can't think about all of them - it will take a lot of time, you must copy & paste.

Oh by the way, I hope you will approve that post - it's content related and I did confirm I am not spamming. :)

Susan
Susan

Food for thought. I would never engage in 3-5 I was unaware of 2 and am worried I might have committed item 1. I would love to see you write a follow up, round it out to a top 10 list. Great stuff, thanks!

anurag kumar
anurag kumar

Seriously , No one likes also , if you are making your facebook account a family account. Some people use it as a twitter where they update their status every second of what they are doing . You are right , there is no need to tell the Exact Location. No one is interested also except your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Sena
Sena

Well I agree with Michelle, your post is really an eye-opener and FB is such a good place where we can share our thoughts ! But m still wondering why shouldn't we share our Watching or Listening ? As have done the same day before yesterday as when I was watching movie, I just put the status for it..Please reply me back, why should we don't do it ?

anurag kumar
anurag kumar

I think sharing watching and listening stuff should only be when you think that , it is important for your friends and they will like it. I think it's not a bad habit to share what you are watching , but you should not share every time. You should share only when you have found something very interesting or funny.

Michelle
Michelle

Hi Tom. Your post is a real eye-opener. I think that with Facebook being such a widely-used tool, you do get users that tend to post every little detail, from their creep ailments to their trips to the loo. Having said this, I think posts like these help people avoid those cringe-worthy updates.

Tom Chu
Tom Chu

Thanks for your kind words, Michelle!